tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post2020426447695251424..comments2023-10-17T10:21:11.698-06:00Comments on The Clutter Museum: On destuckifyingLeslie M-Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02434392840359276805noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-84299316620837376262009-07-23T12:53:23.799-06:002009-07-23T12:53:23.799-06:00I had to do this for a some time after I came out-...I had to do this for a some time after I came out--sort out the hurt of a childhood and adolescence spent closeted in a homophobic society. It felt weird because I was simultaneously really joyous, and because I felt the pressure to be "over" it but also not to tell anyone about it, figuring the straight people wouldn't get it and the gay people would think I was a "bad" lesbian or something. <br /><br />Havi's advice sounds really thoughtful and compassionate. I suspect it would have been affirming to read such advice 11 years ago, but I'm glad I was able to give myself permission--insist on it, really--to feel those hurts and work through them.Susan Mnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-87267745994989566362009-07-22T08:04:51.197-06:002009-07-22T08:04:51.197-06:00I think that destuckifying is what I've been d...I think that destuckifying is what I've been doing for the past few months. I've acknowledged that I'm not where I thought I would be and that it sucks to not be there. I wanted a lot more out of life in many ways--a bigger house, a better job, fame and fortune generally. :) But I got a lot that I wanted too: a great husband, two great kids, good friends (you among them!). Not everything is perfect, but it's pretty good, and I find myself focusing on the good things more often. <br /><br />I just saw a posting for a t-t job nearby in my field. And I thought--is that what I want anymore? And I think I don't. I'm glad I have the Ph.D., but I think I've gotten to the point where I don't want the hassle of pursuing tenure--not at 41, not with trying to be more present for the kids. But there's always that part of me that thinks that I'm failing by not having that kind of job. I can't always quiet that voice, but I'm trying.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10766222493968363248noreply@blogger.com