tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post2994140906654977659..comments2023-10-17T10:21:11.698-06:00Comments on The Clutter Museum: Emotional clutter: The only child, the lost careerLeslie M-Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02434392840359276805noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-59583827674154150582008-05-24T20:00:00.000-06:002008-05-24T20:00:00.000-06:00I'm late to the table, here. All well said, and we...I'm late to the table, here. All well said, and well reflected. You know the path I've taken. You know the difficulties of the decisions. What I can say is, though I love to teach, and though I believe students deserve committed teachers (and more of them), I honestly believe that our society needs a massive slap in the face about education.<BR/><BR/>In my dreams, every teacher in the country would go on strike tomorrow, and not come to the negotiating table until the first concession was made to double the number of teachers (from kindergarten through grad school) without any reduction in current salaries and benefits.<BR/><BR/>I too have felt the loss of leaving the pursuit for a tenure-track job. I've made the radical choice of packing up my family of five, and moving across country to a less expensive town, where we could buy a house (with a mortgage 1/3 of our former rent), where we could afford to take a chance on making some dreams come true.<BR/><BR/>I know you think of these things as well, so I give you a bit of reconaissance: <I>This is home!</I> I only regret that it took me four years of aspiring to a tenure-track gig before I found a path truly my own. And the great irony is: I expect to succeed... and I wouldn't in least bit be surprised if after all my effort a tenured post found it's way to my door someday.ArticulateDadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08407769773596623808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-35240947457137851572008-05-12T21:04:00.000-06:002008-05-12T21:04:00.000-06:00On the child stuff: I have had a post in my head o...On the child stuff: I have had a post in my head on all these issues for ages now. Having tons of boxes of Curious Girl's baby things in the basement meant that maybe, somehow, we'd adopt a second child, and I liked having that hope out there. I liked being the mother of a baby, too, and having the baby stuff held that identity open for me a little longer.<BR/><BR/>We're moving in a few months, and it became clear to me that we were going to have to part with the stuff. I gave most of it to two different friends, and that made it easier for me. I see some of the stuff used, and that makes me happy.<BR/><BR/>I also like the space it has freed up. Declutteriing is pretty liberating, in the end.<BR/><BR/>I've been reading a fair bit about organization (typical academic approach to a problem: research it!) and one clutter person-I completely forget his name--talked about saving things to honor the past, and how keeping a bunch of, say, concert posters stuffed int eh back of a closet where they got no attention isn't really honoring them. So he suggested picking the best to frame and highlight and giving away the rest. That made an impression on me--I've started thinkinga bout what am I getting out of savying this box, what is getting honored in the saving, what am I doing by saving it?<BR/><BR/>It's also true that getting rid of the stuff didn't exactly settle the baby longings. But it did help me package them differently. Your mileage may vary, naturally...susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-32794820082840334482008-05-12T17:33:00.000-06:002008-05-12T17:33:00.000-06:00Loved this post. I am about to take the "sell-out"...Loved this post. I am about to take the "sell-out" path AND am seriously considering the "no-baby" path (as in none at all!). So your thoughts on these issues resonated a lot.flossiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-63961787628698105512008-05-12T16:59:00.000-06:002008-05-12T16:59:00.000-06:00I found this a really moving post. I have no words...I found this a really moving post. I have no words of wisdom, but I appreciate your sharing some of your thinking and struggles.What Now?https://www.blogger.com/profile/04017629066466055668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-56878043125945356272008-05-12T13:03:00.000-06:002008-05-12T13:03:00.000-06:00I write this with all seriousness. "Selling out" ...I write this with all seriousness. "Selling out" is much better than I ever thought it would be.<BR/><BR/>You can still be as engaged as you want to be when you want to be, but then you can just kick back and not worry about perishing for lack of publishing, as well as feeling free to follow whatever interest you have at the moment, without guilt.<BR/><BR/>Plus, you get to spend much more time with the family, all without (or with less of) the money stress.<BR/><BR/>And knowing you, you'll still be a fabulous recreational historian/cultural critic.<BR/><BR/>About the only thing you don't have is that feeling of "If I don't finish this research paper by next month, I'm going to get fired." I suspect that you will still find a way to get the projects that are important to you done in a timely fashion. (Unlike me, I suck at finishing things without a deadline.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-49344491920991505182008-05-12T08:33:00.000-06:002008-05-12T08:33:00.000-06:00Ok, so I read yer blog all the time, and I totally...Ok, so I read yer blog all the time, and I totally STILL owe you an in-real-life email. Forgive that I comment here in lieu!<BR/><BR/>These are incredibly meaningful questions, to which there are no answers. So all I would say is this: give away what you can, hold onto the stuff that matters (both metaphorically and literally), and FEEL NO GUILT about walking away from the TT-thing. NO GUILT! <BR/><BR/>Either way you cut it--having a baby and forgoing the grind of the TT-job (what you did), or doing the diss. and TT-job while forgoing childbearing until "later" (what I am doing)--the situation is tough as hell. Your decision is and was a good one. <BR/><BR/>Think of certain older female professors of our shared acquaintance, the ones who devoted their lives to fearsome SLAC teaching and research, and whose cats didn't even like them very much. <BR/><BR/>And, then think about this: Lucas rocks.the rebel lettristehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08369013300190217105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18155604.post-82428620228250602922008-05-12T06:38:00.000-06:002008-05-12T06:38:00.000-06:00What a great post! And I'm so impressed that you a...What a great post! And I'm so impressed that you are considering giving away baby stuff. My daughter is 8 and just got rid of a lot of it last year. We still have her crib, high chair, strollers- some of it was given to family already who needed it for their baby, but the rest is down in the basement waiting for us to deicide. If you read my blog, you know I am struggling with some of the same issues- but I'm 38 this year and time is definitely running out for us. I also feel guilty when I think about having another child, though- with us nearing 7 billion people and how much more an impact an American baby has on the world, I feel incredibly selfish to even be considering it, but it's hard not to- especially after my recent loss. I wish you the best of the luck with your decisions- career-wise and family-wise. Take care.Addy N.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18189517809852357469noreply@blogger.com