Monday, May 22, 2006

Random Thoughts that I'm Sure a Therapist Could Make Something Out of, but Right Now We'd Rather Spend Our Money on Babysitters

1. Conversation between me and Mr. Trillwing:

Mr. T: What would you think about going to see Kris Kristofferson at The Crest Theatre as a late birthday present?

Me: Sounds great. When?

Mr. T: July 20.

Me: You mean, on our anniversary?

Mr. T: (wincing) OK, I would have figured that out eventually.

2. Why is Lucas drawn to the dirtiest corners of the apartment? He especially enjoys filthy linoleum. I'm hoping all the mouthfuls of dog hair boost his tolerance for dander.

3. Remember the fungus among us in my old apartment? Well, yesterday I found a major leak under our kitchen sink that has contributed to a really impressive mold colony. The best part is that as the wood under the cupboard dries (not sure why the handyman didn't replace it), all the cleaning chemicals are sitting out on the kitchen floor. Good thing we have our White Trash Baby Gate (TM) protecting Lucas from harm:

(If you think that keeps him out of the kitchen, you've never lived with an 8-month-old.)

And then as I was working in my home office last night, I heard something hitting the miniblinds. I prayed it was a ridiculously large insect, but since it was raining, of course it was water pouring down the inside of the window pane. Mind you, there's a balcony overhanging this window. A big balcony. So the water wasn't coming from outside the wall--it was dripping down inside the wall. *grumble*

4. Bad news and good news: Since I'm graduating, I have to go on Mr. Trillwing's Very Good but Quite Expensive Health Insurance. Open enrollment is this month, four months before my student health insurance expires. Damn. But: Fabulous Doctor (Lucas and Pete's doctor) has agreed take me on as a patient, even though she's technically not accepting new patients, because my blog makes her laugh. Score another one for the blog! (And thank you, Dr. Fabulous.)

5. Sometimes I think Lucas is a secret agent. His mission, should he choose to accept it--and oh, he has!--is to make it all the way down the kitchen floor to the dog's water dish, grab it, and spill it. So far, the evil almost-Dr. Mommy has foiled his every attempt. But one day she'll let him spill the bowl of water all over himself. Oh yes, she will.

6. He has toys. Lots of toys. But what does he most want to play with?

There's just nothing better than chewing on a strangulation hazard while sitting bare-legged on dirty linoleum. Nothing!

7. As Lucas becomes increasingly mobile, Woody the Leaky Old Liability has increasingly taken refuge on the couch. Of course, he's chosen my side of the couch, so I'm always settling into some wet spot or tufts of dog hair. (Hence the couch cover: it's very washable.)

8. If this were Phantom Scribbler's home, where the darling, articulate kids have themed weeks or months (trains, outer space, etc.), this week's theme at the Trillwing Manse would be Curdled Blood. It's all wailing all the time these days because--cue trumpet flourish--Lucas is cutting a new tooth.

Breastfeeding: Now with More Serration!

9. Related to #8: Why doesn't Orajel come in vats?

10. I haven't mentioned my dissertation much lately because I haven't been working on it as much as I should be. Bad trillwing, bad! But I have a meeting with Fantastic Adviser on Thursday, so you can bet that something will be accomplished by then. And because I have grading to do this week, dissertation progress will definitely be made.


Phantom Scribbler said...

I laughed hard over "Breastfeeding: Now with More Serration!"

Anonymous said...

Just gotta add,
at least you don't own your trailor - I mean apartment!
K of ME

Seeking Solace said...

Your dog and mine look like they could be siblings!

ArticulateDad said...

Your blog makes me laugh too. Too bad I'm not a fabulous Dr... er, I mean a doctor doctor you know!